Sunday, June 23 2019
11:30am - 1:30pm

A Scene Unseen: Non-Binary Kinksters and How To Love Us

How much do you know about what it means to be non-binary? Enough to flirt confidently? Avoid common triggers? Provide competent aftercare? Volunteer at a front desk? Write an inclusive event description? Present a workshop that mentions gender and/or body configurations? Organize conference logistics? Create environments non-binary kinksters want to kink in??

You can learn those things! (And just in time for Trans March and SF Pride!)


> Doors open at 11:00am
> People who are early get a small reward!
> The front row and aisle seats are reserved for accessibility seating until other seats are filled
> Each seat has handouts, paper slips to write questions on, notepaper, a writing utensil, and red/yellow/green communication badges
> We start promptly at 11:30am
> Doors close at 11:45am regardless of if you already bought a ticket
> You are invited throughout to write questions down, fold them, and pass them to the aisle to be put in a bucket we will draw from later
> End at 1:30pm

Questions will be encouraged to be kept to paper unless they are immediate-topic expansions like could you define that word please? or could you explain that more? This helps keep the atmosphere less charged as no one has to worry about saying or hearing any Unfortunately Worded Question - the facilitator will be able to gently rephrase or kindly address wording, and the asker will be anonymous.

We may have pair/small group brainstorming exercises, where many groups in the room will be speaking at once. You are absolutely welcome to work on your own instead, and are also welcome to use earphones to deal with the noise. If this activity structure would limit accessibility for you, please let Notta know before the workshop starts; the goal is helping everyone to process and learn and apply concepts, but sometimes learning styles can conflict with access needs, and we can absolutely do quiet solo brainstorming instead - it all depends on who is in attendance, so please convey your needs!

Expect some possible triggers like discussion of cissexism.
Expect no flashing lights, no startling noises, no turned-on fluorescent lights, no uncaptioned video.
Expect no street noise and little-to-no outside noise.
Expect not to be called on randomly; all participation aloud is self-initiated.
There will be no chiding people for using electronic devices or stimming; please engage however works best for you!
There will be no photography or video.
There may be PowerPoint slides, writing on those large paper tablet things or on whiteboards, and other displayed text. All handouts and slides will be available in digital form and should be compatible with screenreaders.
There will be about 50 people sitting in chairs in a room. You are welcome to move about as well.
There may be service animals in attendance, so if you have dog allergies or phobias please be aware of that, and you are welcome to speak with Notta about anything that could help you.

The room is upstairs: one flight, 20 steps, in a fairly narrow hallway. It does not have a hearing loop. The only restroom is downstairs inside Wicked Grounds; it is all-gender and wheelchair-accessible, but it is located through a hallway in which it might be hard to turn a chair around. Recommendations for wheelchair-accessible workshop spaces are highly encouraged!


Scent-reduced space: Please avoid wearing cologne/perfume and scented lotions, using scented shampoo/deodorant/detergent the morning of, and smelling of cigarettes (or lube, or Cavicide or isopropyl, or yknow, whatever). Basically, try to avoid bringing scents into the space other than your own body. This helps people with chemical sensitivities and sensory differences (like your autistic facilitator!). At the same time, access to scentless products can be expensive, hygiene routines can be challenging, and avoiding cigarettes is much simpler said than done, so please dont overtax yourself. Just do your best to respect the intention to be scent-reduced.

If you would prefer large text handouts, please let Notta know by Friday 6/21 at 5:00pm PST. A few will be on hand.
If you would like to request an ASL interpreter, please let Notta know by Monday 6/17 at 5:00pm PST(and if you know someone, referrals are welcome!).


Advance tickets are $20 baseline, $10 discounted, or $30 supportive; note that there is a $1-$3 service charge through the ticketing website.

Cisgender folks are strongly encouraged to pay the $30 wherever possible. Remaining tickets will be available at the door for $25 baseline, $15 discounted, or $35 supportive. Ticket proceeds go to keeping Wicked Grounds and its Annex running, to making copies of the handouts, to other materials, and to paying for an online domain to host resources like this workshops materials for non-binary communities and those who want to support them.

See Brown Paper Tickets for pre-ticketing:

NOTAFLOF, so please contact Notta if needed.


Notta has been doing non-binary advocacy and education since stumbling on the word genderqueer in 2008 and freaking out with joy. One of the first dozen in the U.S. to get an X gender marker--and via court order at that--xe has trailblazed on legal, medical, and social frontiers, working with universities, clinics, workplaces, conferences, organizations and individuals to improve competence around non-binary needs. A multiply-disabled linguist, ex-mathematician, queer theorist and sadomasochist with a day job in accessibility, xeir passions include identifying patterns and breaking them down into axioms to look at the tiny pieces. Xe has kept a finger on the pulse of various online marginalized communities, tracked glossaries with interest and occasionally tossed some coined words into the fray, and, after a decade of absorbing the incredibly diverse perspectives of all kinds of gender identities and lacks thereof, this not-a-romantic thinks youll agree with xem its about time xe taught this class.


Notta can be reached at or anonymously at

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